If you’re educated in personal development and self awareness there’s a good chance you’ve heard about or read The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman- perhaps you’ve even taken an online quiz to determine what your specific love languages are- I have—I’m primarily quality time and physical touch- just hang out with me and give me a hug, you’ll have a friend for life- BUT
Here’s the thing though, I think it’s just as important to understand our Fear Languages. How do we react to uncertain situation that are sure to arise in our daily lives?
Here’s a few that I’ve come up with so far
Anger 😤- Not much explanation required for this one- this is for my fighters out there— Do you choose anger in the face of fear? How has this served you in the past? Does it continue to serve you in the present? What is it costing?
Confusion😕- How often are you being confused when facing uncertainty? What happens when you choose confusion? How has this served you in the past? Does this serve you in the present? What is it costing?
Sadness😭- Suffering is a part of life, no doubt- what does choosing sadness get you? What does it cost you?
Hatred😡- Often internal, often kept to oneself, choosing hatred has a deep impact on the world regardless. Hating is common, even glorified to an extent in 2018- afterall we elected an arguably hate filled individual as our most powerful representative
Violence🤬- The external manifestation of internal hate. Hurt people, hurt people- but not all of them. Hurt people who choose to hurt people, hurt people. Has choosing violence served you in the past? Does it serve you now? What does it cost?
Apathy😐- Perhaps the worst fear language, not that they need to be ranked, is apathy. Not caring, not moving, throwing our hands up. It happens when we let it. When we choose it. How has choosing apathy in the past serves to protect you? What has it cost you?
Whatever Fear Language is your go to, be it one of the above or one I missed althogether, it is important to be aware of a couple things-
- These reactions are a choice- there’s a default setting, an automatic response based on years of conditioning of course, but all that they are is just that, reactions. Uncertainly will always be a part of our lives and it will always create fear, triggering this default reaction- the feeling of not knowing naturally causes a twinge if panic, of being unsettled or unsafe. Notice the feeling, be aware of your default language, feel it happening and choose something more productive- like a love language 😉
- The responsibility to choose is the yours and yours alone
Choose love in the face of fear. It’s not easy, but nothing worthwhile is